The Coffee Adventure Begins

So I left the Pet store, not fully because of the stupid customers (although I don't miss the Question Lady). So I work at a coffee place now, and The stories I am about to tell you are all from the same day (today) or the day I've begun to call "The Day Everyone Lost 100 IQ Points For No Reason".

Let's begin, shall we?

So first was the Lady in Red. First of all LiR (Lady in Red) interrupts a customer I'm helping, to butt in with her order, which makes me none too pleased with her already.

"Hey! I want a kids hot chocolate!"

Me: "I will be right with you" I start steaming the milk, and cue the espresso shots. I then go take LiR's order, which comes to $1.05. She starts pulling out change, and I go to finish the latte I'm making for a non crazy person.

LiR: "Hey! Come count this change for me!"

I hand off the latte, and go and count LiR's silver. Exact change. I thank her, and hand her the receipt.

LiR looks me up and down, and then says: "Hmph! Be glad you're not a kid! You can get a JOB!" She looks me up and down once more, and moves over to where the drinks are handed off. I stand at the till for a second longer. What did that comment mean? I have a job, you're here, pestering me AT said job. I shake it off and continue on my way. 3 pumps of mocha sauce, steam 2% milk to 130 degrees, blah blah. I pour the milk, and stir the drink, and ask if she wants whip cream.

She gives me a scathing look, and says: "What for!?"

I fill the cup all the way up, trying not to blurt out "what is your issue with me, exactly?" I keep my cool, and hand her the drink.

LiR: "No, I want whip cream."

I groan to myself. Crazy. So I start putting the whip cream on the drink.

LiR: "uh, hello! I'd like CHOCOLATE whip cream." We don't have that here, so I figure I heard her wrong, and ask if she wanted chocolate curls on the whip cream.

LiR: "No. No. No. I want Chocolate whip cream."

Me: "Oh! Sorry. We don't have that here." I offer the chocolate curls, she accepts.

Then the kicker. The Comments that make no sense, and are just... silly.

LiR: "Well, it's good to know that you're not better than me."

Uh, sorry? I stare at her, my mouth opening and closing like some sort of beached fish..

"Yeah, well because you know, we can't have YOU being better than ME!"

And she walks off.

No sense was made in our entire interaction. And of course, no one was around to hear it. Crazy.


So my manager comes back, and I blurt out at her: "What is WRONG with people today!?"

I expect her to say something like: "Why, what do you mean?" which is why her next comment caught me off guard: "I think they all must have day passes." I laugh. Apparently Boss Lady was having issues with crazy customers all day too.

Second crazy person I had today was a man I like to call "I Have No Idea What Anything Is On The Menu" Guy. We can call him IHNIWAIOTM... ooorrr not. Bad nickname. you can't even say that as a word. Okay, let's call him "Guy".

So I'd had a few interactions with Guy, and he never got any less irritating, today though, he was MORE irritating. He always orders an iced latte. Always. But he can NEVER remember his order, and I've tried to say "iced latte?" to him, to get him to remember, but ohhhh no. He asks for an americano, no buddy that is NOT a cold drink. He asks me "What drink is good? Chocolate chip blended coffee or macchiato?" Wow buddy, two VERY different drinks there. My reply? "It all depends on you. I like the macchiato, but you may not. And they're such different drinks, one is sweet, one is strong coffee"

He can't figure it out. Under the "Cold Drinks" menu, he names them off, and asks if each one in turn, is a cold drink. I get very close to losing my temper.

"Yes! The one's on that menu are ALL cold drinks. THOSE ones are blended with ice. THOSE ones are poured over ice" I point at the menu.

So he comes in today and Boss Lady takes his order. He askes for an "Iced Capp" We are NOT Tim Hortons. But she takes a guess, and makes him a blended coffee with milk. Awesome, as close as we get to an "Iced Capp". She hands him the drink, whip cream on top (albeit, not chocolate whip cream... guh crazy LiR) and he looks at it, and back at Boss Lady, and says "No. That's wrong." Why didn't he say something BEFORE she blended it, or put the whip on, or the LID, or handed him a STRAW.

Guy: "I order same drink yesterday. Drink I want."

BL: "Was is an Iced Latte?"

Guy doesn't know.

BL: "Iced americano?"

Guy doesn't know. Boss Lady explains the difference between the two. Guy doesn't know.

GUY DOESN'T KNOW. HE NEVER KNOWS. IT'S ALWAYS AN ICED LATTE. ALWAAAAAAYS.

*coughs, breathes in and out. Collects self*

After much talking, and convincing him that an Iced Latte is the drink he wants, BL makes him a new one, and he continues on his way. People are ridiculous.

I will regale you all with more stories from today (and probably tomorrow) tomorrow evening.

The Most Terrifying Korean Man 2

So, The Most Terrifying Korean Man was a regular customer. He had many a thing to say to me. Or... at me. In my general direction. Anyway.

So he once again wanders into the pet store, looking strange as usual, talking to himself in Korean. Saying god knows what! He walks up to the rabbits in the large cage in the front of the store, and looks at them for a while, seemingly telling them something really important. It looked that way at least, with how intently he was staring at them.

This man never spent a penny in the store. Not once. But He sure did spend a lot of time in it.

So he's looking at the bunnies, then looks up at me, I gulp. He terrifies me. He looks at me with the same intensity he gave the bunnies. I fear for my soul. Then he looks at his watch.
Back up at me.
Back at the watch.
Back at me.
And says:
"I don't have time..."
I make a motion, like maybe I should acknowledge him for speaking to me.
and then he continues:
"because... of the unicorns!"
Then he spins around on one foot, and leaves.

I gape, open mouthed. Then I laughed hysterically.

The Most Terrifying Korean Man

Ok, so at the pet store I worked at, I encountered a man I came to call: The Most Terrifying Korean Man. I had been told about this man when I began working there, but until I met him, I didn't understand everyone's issue. Then... we "met". I say met with quotations because I have never spoken to the man, I don't think ANYONE has ever spoken to him. He speaks, but not to anyone. He speaks to himself, and to the animals. he will sometimes speak in someone's general direction. He speaks in Korean, mostly. But will occasionally come out with an INSANE English phrase.

Alright, so let's plan an image of this man in your mind. He is a tall, skinny Korean man. Okay, he has a bowl cut. BUT it's not a cute Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone kind of bowl cut, oh no. It sits VERY high on his head. LIKE THIS.



Okay, Poor drawing. But I am not skilled at drawing with Paint using my laptop track pad. You have a vague idea now, anyway. So this man wears the MOST ridiculous clothing. Red track shorts pulled up past his belly button, and a muscle shirt, tucked in. A fanny pack makes it all the better. Socks to his knees and running shoes. Got an image in your head? Good. Let's go on.

Okay so The Most Terrifying Korean Man comes in to the store. We have a bird up front, an African Grey, I'm up at till. He comes up to the bird, and speaks at it in Korean for a while, then he looks at me, back to the bird and says "I'm going to an icecream party!" Then he turns to me, his face gets VERY serious, and he growls "MICROWAVE BOMB THAT SHIT!"

Me-> D: