dear anyone who reads my blog

I've had an interesting time in my retail life recently. I moved yet again, and am inly working part time at an antique/jewelry store. I also broke my laptop, so updates may not come for a while.

Hello again

Sorry to the (very) few of you who read this, I was a bit tied up in my own life, and even though I found myself sitting in front of my computer, I never found my way over to blogger. But here I am! With a new post for you all.

So I'm standing in my coffee kiosk, cleaning something, when a lady comes up to the side of the kiosk, where we have a half wall, and she sets a bottle of pop on it. And stares at me.

I continue to clean for a bit until I realize that she's STILL standing there. I turn to her.

Me: Hello? Can I help you?

(Take note, she is nowhere near the cash register)

Lady: Could I BUY this?

Me: Oh. Well, we're not supposed to ring through customers unless they're buying a coffee. But I guess I can, yeah.

Lady: Well you have a cash register!

Me: (ringing in her bottle of pop) I know, it's just the rules. We have express tills and self checkouts for small purchases.

Lady: Well why should I go there when I can come to you? You HAVE a till! Honestly.

Me: Just the rules, ma'am.

Lady takes her change and stares at me.

Lady: Can I get a plastic bag?

Me: Sorry, only the grocery store tills have bags, I can go grab one for you.

Lady: You HAVE a "grocery store" till! You are IN a grocery store. Wow, girl. They didn't teach you much, did they?

And she leaves.

I honestly don't know why the crazies flock to me, but they really seem to.

The Coffee Adventure Begins

So I left the Pet store, not fully because of the stupid customers (although I don't miss the Question Lady). So I work at a coffee place now, and The stories I am about to tell you are all from the same day (today) or the day I've begun to call "The Day Everyone Lost 100 IQ Points For No Reason".

Let's begin, shall we?

So first was the Lady in Red. First of all LiR (Lady in Red) interrupts a customer I'm helping, to butt in with her order, which makes me none too pleased with her already.

"Hey! I want a kids hot chocolate!"

Me: "I will be right with you" I start steaming the milk, and cue the espresso shots. I then go take LiR's order, which comes to $1.05. She starts pulling out change, and I go to finish the latte I'm making for a non crazy person.

LiR: "Hey! Come count this change for me!"

I hand off the latte, and go and count LiR's silver. Exact change. I thank her, and hand her the receipt.

LiR looks me up and down, and then says: "Hmph! Be glad you're not a kid! You can get a JOB!" She looks me up and down once more, and moves over to where the drinks are handed off. I stand at the till for a second longer. What did that comment mean? I have a job, you're here, pestering me AT said job. I shake it off and continue on my way. 3 pumps of mocha sauce, steam 2% milk to 130 degrees, blah blah. I pour the milk, and stir the drink, and ask if she wants whip cream.

She gives me a scathing look, and says: "What for!?"

I fill the cup all the way up, trying not to blurt out "what is your issue with me, exactly?" I keep my cool, and hand her the drink.

LiR: "No, I want whip cream."

I groan to myself. Crazy. So I start putting the whip cream on the drink.

LiR: "uh, hello! I'd like CHOCOLATE whip cream." We don't have that here, so I figure I heard her wrong, and ask if she wanted chocolate curls on the whip cream.

LiR: "No. No. No. I want Chocolate whip cream."

Me: "Oh! Sorry. We don't have that here." I offer the chocolate curls, she accepts.

Then the kicker. The Comments that make no sense, and are just... silly.

LiR: "Well, it's good to know that you're not better than me."

Uh, sorry? I stare at her, my mouth opening and closing like some sort of beached fish..

"Yeah, well because you know, we can't have YOU being better than ME!"

And she walks off.

No sense was made in our entire interaction. And of course, no one was around to hear it. Crazy.


So my manager comes back, and I blurt out at her: "What is WRONG with people today!?"

I expect her to say something like: "Why, what do you mean?" which is why her next comment caught me off guard: "I think they all must have day passes." I laugh. Apparently Boss Lady was having issues with crazy customers all day too.

Second crazy person I had today was a man I like to call "I Have No Idea What Anything Is On The Menu" Guy. We can call him IHNIWAIOTM... ooorrr not. Bad nickname. you can't even say that as a word. Okay, let's call him "Guy".

So I'd had a few interactions with Guy, and he never got any less irritating, today though, he was MORE irritating. He always orders an iced latte. Always. But he can NEVER remember his order, and I've tried to say "iced latte?" to him, to get him to remember, but ohhhh no. He asks for an americano, no buddy that is NOT a cold drink. He asks me "What drink is good? Chocolate chip blended coffee or macchiato?" Wow buddy, two VERY different drinks there. My reply? "It all depends on you. I like the macchiato, but you may not. And they're such different drinks, one is sweet, one is strong coffee"

He can't figure it out. Under the "Cold Drinks" menu, he names them off, and asks if each one in turn, is a cold drink. I get very close to losing my temper.

"Yes! The one's on that menu are ALL cold drinks. THOSE ones are blended with ice. THOSE ones are poured over ice" I point at the menu.

So he comes in today and Boss Lady takes his order. He askes for an "Iced Capp" We are NOT Tim Hortons. But she takes a guess, and makes him a blended coffee with milk. Awesome, as close as we get to an "Iced Capp". She hands him the drink, whip cream on top (albeit, not chocolate whip cream... guh crazy LiR) and he looks at it, and back at Boss Lady, and says "No. That's wrong." Why didn't he say something BEFORE she blended it, or put the whip on, or the LID, or handed him a STRAW.

Guy: "I order same drink yesterday. Drink I want."

BL: "Was is an Iced Latte?"

Guy doesn't know.

BL: "Iced americano?"

Guy doesn't know. Boss Lady explains the difference between the two. Guy doesn't know.

GUY DOESN'T KNOW. HE NEVER KNOWS. IT'S ALWAYS AN ICED LATTE. ALWAAAAAAYS.

*coughs, breathes in and out. Collects self*

After much talking, and convincing him that an Iced Latte is the drink he wants, BL makes him a new one, and he continues on his way. People are ridiculous.

I will regale you all with more stories from today (and probably tomorrow) tomorrow evening.

The Most Terrifying Korean Man 2

So, The Most Terrifying Korean Man was a regular customer. He had many a thing to say to me. Or... at me. In my general direction. Anyway.

So he once again wanders into the pet store, looking strange as usual, talking to himself in Korean. Saying god knows what! He walks up to the rabbits in the large cage in the front of the store, and looks at them for a while, seemingly telling them something really important. It looked that way at least, with how intently he was staring at them.

This man never spent a penny in the store. Not once. But He sure did spend a lot of time in it.

So he's looking at the bunnies, then looks up at me, I gulp. He terrifies me. He looks at me with the same intensity he gave the bunnies. I fear for my soul. Then he looks at his watch.
Back up at me.
Back at the watch.
Back at me.
And says:
"I don't have time..."
I make a motion, like maybe I should acknowledge him for speaking to me.
and then he continues:
"because... of the unicorns!"
Then he spins around on one foot, and leaves.

I gape, open mouthed. Then I laughed hysterically.

The Most Terrifying Korean Man

Ok, so at the pet store I worked at, I encountered a man I came to call: The Most Terrifying Korean Man. I had been told about this man when I began working there, but until I met him, I didn't understand everyone's issue. Then... we "met". I say met with quotations because I have never spoken to the man, I don't think ANYONE has ever spoken to him. He speaks, but not to anyone. He speaks to himself, and to the animals. he will sometimes speak in someone's general direction. He speaks in Korean, mostly. But will occasionally come out with an INSANE English phrase.

Alright, so let's plan an image of this man in your mind. He is a tall, skinny Korean man. Okay, he has a bowl cut. BUT it's not a cute Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone kind of bowl cut, oh no. It sits VERY high on his head. LIKE THIS.



Okay, Poor drawing. But I am not skilled at drawing with Paint using my laptop track pad. You have a vague idea now, anyway. So this man wears the MOST ridiculous clothing. Red track shorts pulled up past his belly button, and a muscle shirt, tucked in. A fanny pack makes it all the better. Socks to his knees and running shoes. Got an image in your head? Good. Let's go on.

Okay so The Most Terrifying Korean Man comes in to the store. We have a bird up front, an African Grey, I'm up at till. He comes up to the bird, and speaks at it in Korean for a while, then he looks at me, back to the bird and says "I'm going to an icecream party!" Then he turns to me, his face gets VERY serious, and he growls "MICROWAVE BOMB THAT SHIT!"

Me-> D:

Attack of the question lady.

Looks as if my days in the pet industry are over for now. Although I still have a few interesting post from the pet place.

The other day I answered a phone call, and I kid you not, this is how it went.

"(Pet Store Name) Josalyne speaking. How may I help you?"
"Hello, what kind of fish do you have?"
Now, we have 20 or so tanks of fish, with 3 or 4 different kinds of fish in each, you do the math.
"Uhm, well we have LOTS of different kinds of fish."
"Have any blue ones? Which fish are easy?"
"Well we have the neon tetra, which has a blue stripe on it..."
"How big do they get?"
I sigh. I don't have time for this right now. There in only one other worker on the floor besides me. "About and inch, ma'am."
"uhhhh how big is an inch?"
Actually?!
"A couple of centimeters? It's an inch."
"about the size of my thumb?"
"Uh, sure. I guess you could say that."
"Well! look at YOUR thumb! is it an inch?"
"I guess so, I have really tiny hands..."
"REALLY!? I have my dad's hands you know. And he had big hands. Do you have baby hands? I have a friend with baby hands."
"okay then. So you could start with the tetras, or try mollies"
"Are they blue?"
"No, we have orange ones and black and white mollies"
"Like stripes?"
"No, more like spots."
"I had a cat with spots once, he died though..." (She sniffles sadly)
"Uhm, that's too bad. Sorry to hear that. So anyway, the easiest fish to start with would be the tetras, mollies, or the platys."
"what are tetras? Are they blue spotted?"
By now I'm sitting on the floor under the phone on the wall. My face in my hands.
"No, the neon tetras have the blue stripe."
"Oh! how big do they get?"
I actually want to cry now, Sean, the other worker is staring at me, confused by the half of the conversation he hears.
"about and inch..."
"How big is that? I want a blue fish. The mollies are blue right?"
"The mollies are either ORANGE or BLACK AND WHITE SPOTS." I'm getting really irritated now, not her fault, but I am not the most patient of people, especially when I don't have time for nonsense calls. She is mentally not all there, I get that, so why not get someone to help her out?
"I had a cat with spots once. He was my favorite cat ever." The she starts to cry. "He was my childhood pet. I loved him so much."
"It's hard to lose a pet." I reply, trying to gain control of the conversation. "Was there anything else I could help you with?"
She then continued t o ask questions I had already answered for another five minutes.
"Ma'am Have a good day." I FINALLY said after telling her for the umpteenth time about tetra's size.

Sadly, this was not the final time we spoke, but that's for another entry.

Irk

One thing that really irks me (I like that word, irk) is people who argue with you no matter what. The customer is NOT always right, and they should get that stupid thought out of their heads. When I tell you a goldfish CANNOT live in a betta-fish-like bowl I want you to believe me, and just because you saw on it tv does NOT mean it can, and that I am in fact, mistaken. No, I'm right, you're wrong. Deal? Deal.